Proofreading is important
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One of the fun things that David Letterman and Jay Leno used to do on “The Tonight Show” was to read some actual, yet poorly written, headlines from papers. I loved some of them, as I imagine many of you would, too. Well, the other day, a friend sent me a bunch of good ones. I don’t know the source — to preclude an accusation of plagiarism on my part — but I assure you that I am not making them up. Here are some of the best ones, with my comments to follow.
“Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter” — now this seems highly improbable. “Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over” — hopefully, there is no embarrassing video on Facebook. “Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures” — for me, this smacks of the nonsensical statement “climate change” (doesn’t climate always change?). “Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft” — I empathize with this high flyer, as I have shed some airy material while flying at high altitudes.
“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks” — this seems to indicate that children are tasty when eaten by something or someone. “Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half” — now this seems a little sad, at least for the dropouts! “Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead” — at least the storm didn’t do deadly harm to the living populace. “Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge” — wonder if the man had just stepped out of his battery-powered Tesla?
“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges” — I am no structural engineer, but I think this is too cost saving to be practical. “War Dims Hope for Peace” — of course I think that peace for the Ukrainians seems gloomy as long as Russia perpetuates war on the country. “Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers” — I am really upset with litterers, but I think running down jaywalkers is going a tad too far. “Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says” — fortunately, my landings equaled my takeoffs, but this guy is not that sharp as an expert for the National Transportation Safety Board.
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