For the hearing impaired
Isn’t it odd that two creatures are unable to hear the same sound? For example, a dog can hear a high-pitched whistle whereas the human that blew it cannot. And husbands and wives who have been united in wedlock for more than six months are unable to hear a single word the other says. And generally speaking, if there is more than a 10-year difference in age between an adult and a youngster, the child is unable to understand a single word the adult is saying. Maybe it’s due to ear wax buildup.
That is why the universal language of hand signals is necessary. This universal code was first developed by heavy equipment operators and sheepherders to tell their dogs to GO GET IN THE TRUCK! But ranch couples may find just as much use for this universal body language.
A good example of where hand signals come in handy is when the man and wife team is attempting to hook up a bumper pull horse trailer. As the woman backs up the truck the man stands near the trailer hitch with his hands spread wide apart to indicate the distance remaining between the bumper of the truck and the trailer. As the wife guns the engine the man then signals for her to SLOW IT DOWN. This is indicated by raising both arms horizontally and waving frantically. As the rear bumper of the pickup crashes into the trailer causing it to fall off the termite-ridden stack of wood it’s sitting on, the man then takes off his hat and beats it repeatedly against his knee indicating to the wife to COME HITHER to remove the trailer, which is now resting on his foot.
The most important hand gesture ranch couples should commit to memory is the STOP command. This comes in handy when the male is holding a cold chisel, fence post, rail splitter or any other item for his mate to hit with a seven pound sledge. When she misses and hits the male thumb instead, he should grab his swollen digit, jump up and down excitedly, and spin around in a circle like a dog looking for a place to lay down. He should then draw his hand across his throat indicating to the wife that she should STOP before causing further nerve damage. Usually this warning comes much too late, and the wife always gets in another lick or two. Or seven or eight, depending on the current condition of the couple’s marital bliss.
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