When planning your big day, focus on character and counseling
One of my mentors in college once said that the two greatest decisions you’ll ever make in your life is:
1. The decision to trust Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior.
2. The person you choose to marry.
These words were shared with me several years before I met and married my husband. In December we hit our 12-year anniversary, and I can wholeheartedly say that my mentor’s words were spot on.
As a young girl, I dreamed about my wedding day, a handsome man to share life with and have children together. When I knew my heart was ready to marry Jeremiah, I prepared, planned and executed on all the details of our winter wedding in Virginia. But in the midst of the stress and joy of all our planning, I remembered that the person I was soon to marry was more important than having a perfect wedding day.
That special day is only one day, and before you know it, you’re catching a flight to your honeymoon destination. But all the days after with your spouse? You’ll be with him for a lifetime and understanding the importance of his character is far more valuable.
I’d like to encourage you to begin focusing on the hard work of your own character and the integrity of your fiancé’s more than the color scheme of your wedding, which hashtags you’ll use in social media photos, who’s playing the piano or if the ceremony will be held in a church or outdoors.
The truth is many married couples hit a point in marriage where they aren’t “happy.” Your character and promise to pledge your lives to one another will carry you through when the feelings aren’t there. Does your fiancé persevere in the midst of pressure and trials? Do you rely on truth more than your feelings and emotions? Training yourself to rely on truth right now will be a huge benefit if there comes a day when you just don’t feel it. You’ll have prepared yourself to rely on your commitment. You will be loyal to him until death as you promised regardless of unreliable emotions.
Often, couples get so tied up in the business of planning, planning, planning that they don’t seek out premarital counseling. One of the greatest blessings in preparing for your big day is to seek out wisdom and advice from God’s Word and from others. Don’t deceive yourselves into thinking, “We don’t need it” or “We’ll get there somehow.” Failing to plan is planning to fail. Carve out time in your busy schedule. Make premarital counseling a non-negotiable as a couple and make it fun!
Solid premarital counseling will help draw out issues of the heart like your past hurts, family background, expectations, differences and more. You’ll discover things about yourself and your fiancé that you never knew.