HHS hosts 4-part sexting, sexual health program

    It’s been touted as a “sexting workshop,” but the recent series of programs organized by Holyoke School District were much more than that. Ruthie Kolb of Colorado Youth Matter delivered four different presentations specifically tailored to their unique audiences Aug. 30-31 at Holyoke JR/SR High.
    The first program was Wednesday evening for teachers, followed by another for parents and community members. Thursday morning, students from grades 5-12 had an assembly for their program, and the final workshop was one designed especially for student leaders.
    When addressing adults — be it teachers or parents — Kolb focused on the implications of working with minors, including relevant laws. She addressed teachers as mandatory reporters and strategized ways to talk to students about sexting and their sex-related questions or concerns.
    To parents, she said that students are curious and want to have their questions heard and encouraged them to be the ones to talk to and educate their own children about sexual health matters.
    When it came to the students, she addressed life skills that are important for students to learn now but will also be something they carry with them into adulthood.
    
Kolb addresses parents/community members
    Talking with a nice-sized crowd of more than 70 adults Wednesday night, Aug. 30, Kolb explained the role of Colorado Youth Matter. “We educate adults so they’re prepared to talk to young people about sex.”
    “We’re passionate about getting family members of teens to be able to have a conversation with them for wise decision-making,” Kolb added.
    In an audience participation activity, Kolb invited various attendees to place numbers on her statistics game boards. The interactive process shed light on her statistics game and enlightened the audience on a number of things.
    She did point out that the research was done in 2014, prior to the now-popular Snapchat, a social media platform used to send photos or messages to friends or groups of friends.
    A very common sexting app, Snapchat images are available only for an allotted time. However, recipients can take a screenshot and keep the image on record.
    The first statistics game board revealed, “Every 131 minutes, a baby is born to a Colorado teen, or 10 babies per day. Though teens make up 25 percent of the sexually active population, they account for 50 percent of the sexually transmitted infection or sexually transmitted disease cases each year.”
    And the second game board, “The teen birth rate (in Colorado) has dropped by 48 percent in the last five years. And 47 percent of teens say their parents are their greatest influence on sexual decisions over their peers (18 percent). Also, 28 percent of young adults report sending sexually explicit photos while underage.”
    When asked about the teen abortion rate, Kolb said it also dropped by 35 percent in the same time period in which the teen birth rate dropped by 48 percent.
    “Kids are listening to us — having someone in their life that they can talk to is a huge protective factor,” she summarized.
    “You know the young people in your life. You have an ability — you just have to work it,” said Kolb.
    On the broader topic of sexuality, Kolb emphasized the importance of being an askable adult. Audience members shared answers to her question about what they want in a person whom they can talk to. The answers were: compassionate, confidential, good listener, patient, empathetic, nonjudgmental.
    And how to describe the person they try to avoid? — selfish, judgmental, critical, know-it-all, pessimistic, a gossip.
    Taking the adults’ answers to her queries, Kolb pointed out, “When teens want to talk to someone, they’re looking for the same things.”
    “If young people are asking you questions, that’s really good,” she added. She cautioned adults to be careful about overreacting to the questions in order to see where the teens are and to help them navigate.
    Starting small — early and often — is an important basis for conversations with teens. “As statistics show — they’re listening. And that’s a big deal,” said Kolb.
    Talking about sexuality provided the framework for the sexting topic.
    “Sending sexually explicit photos — or sexting — why do you think teens do it?” asked Kolb. Answers from the local audience included wanting attention, wanting acceptance and peer pressure.
    Kolb shared what 18-19-year-olds who sexted when they were underage shared as they reflected backward on their reasons.
    Of those who had sexted, 44 percent said it was for mutual interest between exclusive romantic partners, 34 percent were flirting with someone in whom they were romantically interested, 15 percent said they were compelled to respond, and 1 percent cited peer pressure.
    Adults assume peer pressure to have a much higher influence, while those involved cite other motivations.
    Historically, Kolb cited humanity and the use of sexual images, dating clear back to as long as there is record — to the pyramids, creating lasting images.
    “Every generation has a version of ‘kids these days,’” said Kolb. Kids today have a new medium — sexting via cellphones. The behavior fits into what humanity has established.
    “If we’re going to talk to young people, we have to understand where it’s coming from,” said Kolb.
    Showing the prevalence of sexting, Kolb said 54 percent of teens had sent sexts — either texts or photos.
    Risks of sexting include online predators, permanence, lack of privacy and the law.
    She specifically highlighted the law change coming to Colorado Jan. 1, 2018, which will better define and punish varying roles of sexting involvement.
    Technology is faster than adults, so it’s vitally important to find a way to create safety and trust for teens.
    Kolb cautioned that there are dangerous apps to be aware of. “As soon as I tell you about one, there will be a new one tomorrow,” she noted.
    In particular, she highlighted an app that will hide photos. It looks like a calculator but if a password is put in, it opens a photo album. This is where inappropriate photos can be hidden.
    Paula Bragg, executive director of Sexual Assault Response Advocates in Fort Morgan was present for the Wednesday program and noted she would send some information about dangerous apps to Holyoke Superintendent John McCleary.
    “Please talk to us,” is what our teens are saying, said Kolb. “Talk to your children about sexuality, your family values, consent, media usage. Decide on your monitoring philosophy and practices,” she added.
    People are resilient and can move from being a victim to a survivor, said Kolb. “We can overcome this — as a community, as a family.”
    
New Colorado sexting law to take effect Jan. 1, 2018
    In Wednesday night’s adult session, Kolb identified four scenarios involving underage youth sharing sexy photos/nudies/nude selfies — teen terms for what adults define as sexting.
    With current Colorado law, every youth involved would be guilty of  a felony — even the one who was betrayed when sending what was believed to be a private photo to an exclusive romantic partner. When that partner sent it on to others, it was termed revenge porn, but the original sender of the photo would be as guilty of the felony as the one who violated the sender’s trust by forwarding it.
    Along with the felony charge would be the requirement to register as a sex offender — something that lasts a lifetime.
    The only youth involved in sexting who would be unaffected by the current law would be the one who immediately deleted any such photo sent to them. Kolb noted that a teen blatantly pushing a nude photo across the internet could still potentially be found guilty of a felony under the new law.
    The current law was created to keep adults from exploiting young people, not to address situations involving only minors.
    Kolb said the push for change in the law was a result of 187 minors in Colorado being tried for child pornography between 2010-15. While she didn’t know the percentage of those that involved cases of sexting, she said the number didn’t seem appropriate.
    A Cañon City High School debate in late 2015 brought the issue to the forefront when about 100 students were found to be trading hundreds of nude images with each other. Headlines were far-reaching, as was the fear that a whole community’s children could be labeled sex offenders. Prosecutors eventually decided not to charge any of the teens involved.
    The law which will go into effect in January is a compromise measure after more than two years of fierce debate about how to address the complicated issue that’s becoming more prevalent, according to a May 6 article in the Denver Post when the bill was headed to Gov. John Hickenlooper’s desk for his signature.
    The legislation on teen sexting addresses the difference between consensual and nonconsensual behavior, said Kolb.
    As of Jan. 1, 2018, any juvenile who is at least 14 and has a nude image of another teen without their permission, and who is within four years of the victim’s age, would commit a petty offense.
    Anyone who is at least 14 years old and within four years of the victim’s age who posts a nude image of a juvenile online or in another form would commit a Class 2 misdemeanor.
    Under the new law, juveniles whose actions are petty offenses or civil infractions cannot be charged with a Class 3 felony child pornography offense. However, the felony accusation can still be made if a district attorney feels it is appropriate.
    Throughout the anticipated law changes, teachers, principals and other school personnel remain mandatory reporters of suspected child abuse. It is their legal obligation to report sexting, regardless of the lifelong impact it may have on a student. At this point, any exchange of nude photographs of minors must be reported by police as sexual exploitation of a child, with all the potential ramifications. As of Jan. 1, police officers will still have to file a report if any sexting had taken place, but the consequences will not be as severe.
    Responding during Kolb’s presentation Wednesday night, McCleary said he feels like this law change could open a lot of eyes. A misdemeanor teaches a tough lesson but doesn’t put a juvenile’s name on record for life.
    He added that it’s important to be having conversations about what is appropriate behavior and to teach young people about using media well.
    
Grades 5-12 assemble
    During first period Thursday, Aug. 31, the entire JR/SR high student body, as well as fifth- and sixth-grade classes from Holyoke Elementary, had an assembly with Kolb. The overarching theme of the workshop was consent. Kolb explained to students that they need consent for anything they want to do with another person.
    Rape is the obvious example, but she emphasized that consent is also needed for any sort of touching or taking/sending photos. As part of the workshop, Kolb used examples of ordering pizza or having a cup of tea to illustrate practicing consent.
    It’s almost comical to assume a friend would want to order a pizza every day just because they wanted to once. Kolb was quick to point out that it should be just as unthinkable to assume someone wants sexual contact because they did in the past. Consent is needed every time, she emphasized.
    Similarly, it’s absurd to imagine forcing someone to drink tea. Even if they had said they wanted a cup but then changed their mind about drinking it, it doesn’t make any sense to try to force them to drink it. Same goes for sex and physical touch — don’t force it on someone. And there’s no question about it, unconscious people do not want to drink tea; don’t try to give it to them.
    She also encouraged students to say “no” to the things they don’t want. “Everyone has the right to say who touches their body and how they’re touched,” she said. And again, when someone says “no,” respect that.
    Students were engaged and asked and answered questions in a way that showed their comfort with Kolb and their willingness to learn.
    Since sexting was the main topic addressed with adults, Kolb also touched on it with students. She discussed some of the reasons parents and teachers are so worried about sexting, including online predators, the permanent nature of a photo shared electronically, the potential for someone sharing it without permission and the law.
    She also asked students why they think people sext. When some of the answers included fear that a boyfriend or girlfriend will leave them if they don’t, Kolb sympathetically encouraged everyone to make decisions for themselves rather than based on pressure from others.
    Returning to consent, Kolb noted that sending someone an unsolicited sext is inappropriate. “You don’t walk around with your pants off,” she said. “That’s indecent exposure.” Sending an unsolicited photo is essentially the same.
    Finally, Kolb spoke frankly about the laws that apply to minors and sexting and explained the obligation teachers have to report it.
    
Student leaders brainstorm
    Following the all-school assembly, a group of about 40 students gathered with Kolb for her final presentation. Those specific students were chosen because they represent leadership in a number of school activities. They were class officers and varsity athletes and serve in a number of extracurricular roles. Some were nominated by teachers because of their influential status among their peers.
    For the final, smaller session, Kolb helped the students brainstorm and discuss with each other some of their concerns with sexual health and sexting.
    First she asked, “What are the things you’ve noticed in your school that need to be addressed?” With those listed, she asked what strengths the students see in the school and community. The group used both lists to think of ways to utilize the strengths to address the existing problems.
    Kolb’s last question for the students was, “What do you need from your school and other people to achieve these things?”
    According to the students, the problems they see firsthand include pressure (both in-person and online), sharing without consent and violating someone’s privacy and trust, social norms, shaming, and girls being objectified.
    As students discussed some of the strengths of their school and community, Kolb interjected, reminding them that they are an asset themselves. “You guys have the power to create the school environment that you’re in,” she added.
    One thing students expressed that they need from the school is more pre-emptive training. The current workshop wasn’t scheduled until sexting became an “epidemic.” Students suggested that education beforehand might help prevent things from getting to that level.
    At the conclusion of the workshop, JR/SR high counselor Angela Powell asked student leaders if they would be interested in meeting throughout the school year to discuss concerns they see and to create mentorship opportunities. Students agreed that it will be a good opportunity to have their voices heard beyond the Thursday morning assembly.