Gypsies, tramps and beeves

    I get my news from paperview. I read the newspaper. I don’t watch much television and have found that your average security camera monitor is more entertaining than TV.
    I do, however, watch the occasional weather report on TV, but I don’t know why I bother, because it’s always the same: “Torrential sunshine today with scattered darkness tonight.”
    In our area, weatherpersons come and go like gypsies and cold fronts. Some are good and some are bad. Generally speaking, I’ve found that the best TV weatherpersons are found where the weather is the worst.
    My problem with most TV weather reports is that the weather is not taken seriously enough. To me, the weather report is far more important than what happened in Syria, or what Congressperson got caught with his pants down or his hand in the till. I guess I’ve been in the beef business for too long, but the weather is no joking matter.
    In many instances, the weatherperson is some sort of clown. It’s no accident that Willard Scott, the most famous weatherperson in TV history, was the original Ronald McDonald, or that his “training” to be a weatherman included stints as Bozo the Clown.
    We’ve certainly had our share of clowns where I live. There was one tramp who looked like she was dressed by Victoria’s Secret and another guy with a huge honker. His nose was so long that when he stood sideways to the camera and pointed to a low pressure area, it looked like he was pointing with his schnozzola. We called him Pinnochio, and it was fitting because, oh, how he lied.
    I’ve met a few “celebrity weathermen” over the years, because at many of the charity auctions we worked, the local TV station would send the weatherperson to “jazz up the auction.” Usually these local stars felt compelled to imprint their personality on the sale.

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