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The Laughing Mom: humorous tales of motherhood PDF Print E-mail
Written by Susan Pfaltzgraff   

Oreos for Mommy

I have a sweet tooth, it’s true. I try to be a good mom by not exposing my children to too many sweets, which makes it difficult for me to indulge in them myself. So I go long stretches without having sweets, and I sigh like a martyr whenever a craving hits!

One day at the grocery store, I thought I was very sneaky as I quietly placed a package of Oreos in the cart. Melise, my 3-year-old, doesn’t miss a thing. “What’s that, Mommy?”

“Just some cookies for after supper.” I was a little sorry that she noticed, but I reassured myself that we could share “just a few” for dessert and the world wouldn’t end.

Almost as soon as supper was over, Melise started asking about the cookies. I put her off as long as I could, halfway hoping she’d just forget about them. She persisted in asking for them all the way up to bedtime. Finally I gave into my own cravings and pulled out the package.

I explained to Melise that we were just going to have a couple of cookies each. I also told her that Alina, my 15-month-old, was not allowed to have one. I sat the glass of milk and cookies in front of us and let Melise take a cookie. Immediately, Alina was screaming and reaching for Melise’s cookie. Melise started crying and yelling, “Alina’s trying to take my cookie! Mommy help!”

I realized that it wasn’t so easy to avoid sharing with the baby, so I handed her one thinking, surely she’ll just chew on it a little while and then leave it alone.

As I gave Alina a cookie, Melise started dunking her Oreo in the milk. Needless to say, her dunking skills are a little rough and messy. I jumped up to rescue the sloshing cup and then walked away to get some paper towels. Upon returning, I saw that Alina wasn’t all that interested in eating the cookie, but she sure liked breaking it up into little pieces!

I picked up Alina’s mess while also attempting to body-block her from taking any more cookies. Melise, meanwhile, had eaten the icing out of several Oreos and created a pile of well-licked cookies. I threw away the cookie crumbles and sat down to finally eat a cookie myself.

I started with the licked cookies, scarfing them down as fast as I could, anticipating new trouble at any moment. As I shoved the last of Melise’s discards, she announced that she was done and walked away. I surveyed the mess around me: cookie crumbs all over the floor and Alina’s fingers covered in chocolate cookie mush. I realized after all that hassle that I had eaten several Oreos (minus the icing) and hadn’t enjoyed it one bit.

The next day when I got a cookie craving, I gave the kids some toys to play with and told them I was going to clean the kitchen. Melise came into the kitchen moments later to find me standing in the back corner enjoying milk and Oreos all by myself. I froze as I tried to think of what to say to her. She looked me over and didn’t seem at all surprised. Then she asked if I could get the crayons down for her. Relieved, I told her I’d be right there ... just as soon as I licked all the Oreo crumbs off my fingers!



Holyoke Enterprise June 7, 2012